We pick up day two of the Disneyland March Madness tournament by taking a quick look at the two top seeds. In the Adventureland bracket, Haunted Mansion (1) takes on The Golden Zephyr (16). This one turned out to be a basic forfeit as the Golden Zephyr’s didn’t even show. Instead, a team of Silver Zephyrs arrived at the arena. This was deemed “not cool” by Tourney officials and Haunted Mansion was given a walk.
Over in the Tomorrowland bracket, Pirates of the Caribbean (1) faced off vs. the Disney Jr. show. Again, not a fair fight. You see, the team of Disney Jr. is comprised entirely of children. At this point, the math is obvious. Adult Pirates > 8 year olds with plastic hammers.
Frontierland Bracket
Our first of two matches to complete day one of the Frontierland bracket pits Casey Jr. (7) vs. Dumbo (10). This is a rather fortuitous pairing due to the close relationship shared by the two teams, both physically and historically. So it would come as no surprise that this was a close match that was narrowly won by Dumbo. Casey Jr. simply could not overcome the fact that the grown men playing this game couldn’t fit into their uniforms! They had to play the entire game resembling a hunchback.
In the other game, we saw California Screamin (2) face off vs. the Animation Academy (15). This turned out to be a huge mismatch as the Animation Academy could not compete with Screamin. While The Animation Academy is cool, it is a well-known fact that any team with the word “Academy” in its name cannot be considered a legitimate threat.
Fantasyland Bracket
Our first match here has Grizzly River Rapids (5) going up against Aladdin Spectacular (12). In a mild upset, Aladdin was just that, Spectacular. While Grizzly Rapids was solid, Aladdin put on a great show with a strong performance by its star, the great and powerful genie.
This one wasn’t fair. The Jungle Cruise (4) took on Tough to be a Bug (13). Again, the main problem here is that bugs can’t shoot, run fast, or jump high. They also have no answer to very big shoes. And so it was that the Jungle Cruise…cruised…to victory (I’m so sorry. I’m so very very sorry).
Goofy Sky School (7) and Roger Rabbit (10) faced off in a very evenly matched competition. Roger Rabbit brought their zany, spinning offense to bear vs. the absent minded defense of Goofy Sky School. It was this spinning though that would Roger Rabbits undoing, as the entire team had to break in the final quarter so that they could vomit in their shoes.
Indiana Jones (2) vs. King Triton’s Carousel (15)? LOL. Next.
Adventureland Bracket
We open our look at the Adventureland bracket with Mr. Toads Wild Ride (8) vs. Ariels Undersea Adventure (9). Great match here with similar styles, but vast differences in experience. You have the wiley Toad, willing to take chances and play at a break neck speed against the poise and determination of the Little Mermaid. But Mr. Toads wound up taking the loss because it simply could not overcome being set on fire and hit by a train. So there’s that.
The Sailing Ship Columbia (6) took a run at Mickey’s Fun Wheel (11) and won. It’s not a glamorous matchup, and the results showed it. But Columbia won nonetheless.
The legendary King Arthur’s Carousel (14) had the misfortune of going up against the not quite as legendary, but still more popular Splash Mountain (3). The results of their match up were consistent with this view as King Arthur, in spite of cadre of Knights of the Round Table, could not withstand the relentless, unmannerly, and insanely hectic offense of Splash Mountain.
Here’s the matchup I’ve been looking forward to covering for a long while. It’s Storybook Land (7) against The Tea Cups (10). I’m a big fan of team Storybook Land, and not so much of The Tea Cups. But that is not to say that the Tea Cups do not have their own supporters. I’ll give them this much, nobody ever had an ear to ear grin WHILE feeling completely nauseated while watching Storybook Land. But to my good fortune, the way too awesome to be ignored Storybook Land edged out Tea Cups.
The immensely popular Star Tours (2) went up against the largely unknown Sorcerers Workshop (15). By the way, it’s the one inside the Disney animation building that lets you do voice overs for Lion King. So yeah, it has a chance here. This is unfortunate for me personally, as I’m not a personal fan of Star Tours. But there’s no stopping them here, and they easily out duel the force-less charm of finding out which Disney characters personality you most resemble.
Tomorrowland Bracket
In what should have been a close match, Tom Sawyer’s Island (9) whooped the heck out of ‘ol Alice and her Wonderland (9). Sawyer, with his savvy ways was able to hold off Alice’s zany, no sense brand of offense. And much like Pooh and his adventures, it was fairly obvious that the man responsible for drawing up the Alice offense was under the influence of some heavy duty drugs.
In a match that saw two discordant attacks, Autopia (7) took on Redwood Creek Challenge (10). Autopia brings a loud, noxious offense to bear against Redwoods quiet, serene, almost meditative defense. And against the hopes and desires of our own Disney Ninja, the obnoxious and noxious Autopia cars ran right over Redwood Creek. Maybe Redwood should have brought a chainsaw?
And last, and perhaps least competitive, Radiator Springs Racers (2) was pitted against Gadget’s Go Coaster (15). Now, we all know that Radiator Springs is awesome, but really, Gadget’s Go Coaster couldn’t even put up a fight with an offense that hit the floor, took one shot, and immediately quit. That’s it. 51 seconds of “fun”, and that’s all she wrote.
Disneyland March Madness
And that wraps up the first round of the Disneyland March Madness tournament. We’ve cut the field of 64 down to 32, and the matches now I expect will be much closer and exciting. Let me know what you think of the results far!
